My social life is suffering. I keep meaning to ask my friends to go place but I never do. I was going to ask Kashrin to come see Watchmen with me, but I figured she wouldn't be into those kinds of movies. And she was supposed to come over last Friday too, but her mom wouldn't let her. gaah parents.

In other news, BAND TRIP. HOLY CRAP I CAN'T WAIT. It's towards the end of April, and we're going to Bostoooon. 8D Seriously, it will be full of lulz and awesome. I'm rooming with Kashrin and Alyssa and...our fourth is undecided, lol. BUT OH MY GOD, SERIOUSLY, BOSTON WITH MY CREW OF FUCKERY. THIS WILL UNDENIABLY BE EPIC. I will post pictures come that time.

I've been attempting to get into iconing, but I suck in unbelievable amounts. I'm the kind of person who would end up doing 365+ icons in one night and end up never posting them because I'm so scared of suckage. PHOTOSHOP IZ R CONFOOZING, HURRRRR.

SEE, SEE? My life has nothing going on in it right now, but I didn't want my journal to be cluttered with memes and fandom related shit all the time. So I hope you're happy, whoever may care. 8P
 

Lo and behold, I’m gracing you with a RL post so it doesn’t seem that I have no life outside of the internet. :P

Uguu, my Latin preposition test is coming up and I’m not looking forward to it one bit. And now I have to make a mezuzah for religion class, which I’m forced to do out of Play Dough. How manry. Oh Mr. Taris, you senile man you. But ilu all the same. <3

On Sunday I had to stay at school from 12:45—8:00 PM, I shit you not. The band had to play at this…fundraiser…thing for our school. Our uniform was a black button up shirt with black dress pants, black shoes nad black socks, and a bl—LOL JUST KIDDING a white tie. I think I could’ve passed for a guy that day, my outfit was so big and I was wearing guy’s clothes in the first place--/shot

I actually had the nerve to compliment Smiley on his mad drum set skills, but I don’t think he heard me. I remember on the way out that his friend was telling him something along the lines of, ‘I think that girl just said you were good, man,’ but I didn’t stick around for long, because that was when the snowstorm was starting and I had to RUN LIKE HELL from the band trailer to the main building.

As those of you who live in the general East Coastal area know, we had the largest snowfall in…a while, which meant fuck yeah snow day today. Only three more days before yet ANOTHER weekend and OH MY GOD WATCHMEN IS COMING OUT ON FRIDAY *flail*. I don’t care what the elitists say, this movie will be totally epic. And besides, the fandom does need this explosion. People are getting the wrong idea in thinking that the new fanbase will be TOTALLY FOR THE HAWT and PRETTY *~*NITE OWL/RORSCHACH SMEX~*~. Some of them will be like that, but I think that the movie will inspire people to go out and read the original novel—the trailer inspired me to do so.

Quigley might be coming over Friday to sleep over. <3 So surprisingly enough, things are going pretty well in my life right now, which explains the SUDDEN EXPLOSION of creativity I had in regards to fanfic.

P.S. My sleep habits will be the death of me.

Oh Jesus, when was the last time I actually made a real entry about my life? I just kind of figured that nobody wanted to hear my mangsting.

But anyway, oh my god wut. I haven’t been to therapy in three weeks and I’m already falling apart. I’m pretty sure it’s just teenage hormones, but whatever. Forget that aspect of my life, nobody wants to hear it.

Alright, so, my ‘n’ key on my school computer is kind of broken. I have to hit it multiple times for it to get in. So that’s a major inconvenience. :/ On the same note of school, I might get exempt from my history final for some weird reason. The criteria is that you have an average of 93 (I have a 90) and get a recommendation from the teacher. The latter obligation is filled, but the previous one isn’t. When I confronted my teacher about this, he said it didn’t really matter. I guess I should roll with it?

Algebra is going to be the death of me. I’m serious—not only is my teacher terribly confusing, he gives us things that we haven’t even learned. I was never skilled in math t begin with, so…let’s just say that the final isn’t going to pleasat. I’m not all too concerned with biology, so I’ll just study diligently for that and hope for the best.

Band is going well. I’m kind of sad that I’ll be changing classes soon, since I didn’t get the opportunity to talk to Ringo yet. D8 I just can’t get over my shyness, and if I can’t get over that, how will I ever be able to get what I want? Whatever, I’m also fairly sure he’s taken, anyway. That, or he’s just a player. *shrugs* I see him talking with mostly guys, but he also has a lot of girl friends (notice the space between the words). He’s extremely popular, apparently. Oh, I’m such a typical teenage girl. /lament

I miss Dad like you wouldn’t believe. He’s been gone for a few weeks now, but he won’t be back until February. And even then, I’m still worried. It’s the Middle East—anything can happen. He sent me an email the other day, and I…well, I kind of cried when I read it. Words just can’t describe how much his presence is missed. He’s the only one I can really talk to without any strings attached.

Oh well, that’s really all that’s been going on in my life.

I’ve been doing a lot of musing these past few days about myself and my relationships with people in general, not just Ringo (which is nonexistent anyway). I mean, I’m not used to having real friends. You know, the kinds you go out with and call. In public school, that concept was extremely foreign to me. But still, I’m happy, of course! This feels unbelievably great, to be cared about. I grew up making friends solely on the internet. No offense to the people I’m close to, but IRL friends are fuckin’ awesome. It’s…tangibility, you know?
 

My relationships with my friends are rather simple compared to the mental dilemma I’ve indulged in. No, really, I’ve never fallen this hard for someone since sixth grade, and let’s just say that when I chose to confess my feelings, it didn’t end particularly well. Well, I’m a lot more mature at fourteen than I was at the tender age of eleven. I wasn’t ready to be so infatuated with someone. (That’s not to say that I am right now—I’m just more prepared for the consequences and inevitable downfall)
 

I mean, it’s kind of sad when you start daydreaming about them a lot more than you should. And it’s certainly not good when you start making blushed statements about who you supposedly like. For example, I was sitting at lunch today with a group of girls. Now, these are the kinds of girls I never in a million years would imagine hanging out with in middle school. They were ‘above’ me—or so I thought.
 

The conversation did turn to boys. After a few minutes of giggling and frivolous things like that (hey, we’re allowed to be frivolous—we’re teenage girls, for Christ’s sake), I timidly offered that I liked someone. They were all over me, much more so than the other girls. I was confused. I didn’t think that they’d be interested in my own emotional affairs, but I also didn’t think that I had already established a reputation as someone who distanced themselves from normal teenage things like that.
 

It got me thinking. I usually don’t divulge my personal feelings about someone, especially if I harbor affections for them. And then I realized that maybe I was having a little too much hope for myself. Of course, I manage to talk myself out of those fantasies most of the time. I know that I misinterpret a lot of things people say and do. I’m just setting myself up for failure.
 

The kind of inner conflict that creates is cataclysmic. Do you understand what kind of things happen to your psyche when one half is arguing that there’s a chance, while the other, rational side of it is arguing that there’s no chance at all and that I’m condemned to torturing myself?

Ah, fuck it. I’m screwed either way.